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Chapter
1 Excerpt
The Man of My Dreams
Have you ever had a dream that changed
your life? Have you ever had a dream come true?
Everyone says
they want to
find the man or woman of their dreams. But what if it happened to you?
What if you dreamt of a stranger you were supposed to marry—and then
saw that person the next day? What would you do? Would you go up to
them and say, “I just dreamt I’m supposed to marry you?” Or would you
wait and watch, wondering what kind of person you had dreamt about?
I had the dream
about five
months after starting a job as photojournalist at NASA Langley Research
Center in Hampton, Virginia. My photographs of aircraft and spaceship
models, lasers and research planes, test pilots, astronauts, and
scientists were being published all over the nation and
internationally. My articles appeared in NASA publications. It was an
exciting time in my life.
The dream had
come the night
after my last date with a man who had asked me to marry him. I had
declined. This was not easy to do because the man was a millionaire,
and I was a single mom with three almost-college-age youngsters.
Little did I know that the dream was just
the beginning.
Little did I
realize that I
had just begun an amazing spiritual journey into the unknown, and I was
about to unravel one of the deepest mysteries of who we really are. The
morning I awoke from that dream, I had no idea that something much
greater than myself had been set in motion and my life would forever be
changed.
At the time, the
children
and I lived in a little house on a street adjacent to the Chesapeake
Bay. Among the four of us, we shared one bed: I slept on the mattress,
the girls used the box spring, and my son spent his nights on blankets
piled on the wooden floor.
When the
children and I had
moved to Virginia Beach from Phoenix, we could bring only what we could
fit into our old 1970 three-quarter-ton Ford window van. After we
packed our clothes, dishes, pots, books, typewriter, stereo, toys, and
my camera, there was no room for any furniture.
Our most
precious passengers
were our little terripoo dog, Muffin, and our four cats. We couldn’t
leave our beloved pets in Phoenix because they were a part of our
family, and they gave us a sense of home no matter where we were or
what happened to us.
My new job in
Virginia, with
a NASA contractor, paid enough for food, clothing, and school supplies,
but we had to find our furniture on the side of the road on bulk
garbage days.
It had not been
easy to say
“no” to my millionaire friend. He had taken me to lovely waterfront
homes where he wanted us to live. How I missed having a nice home! We
had had to leave Phoenix because our four-bedroom house with the
in-ground pool had been foreclosed on when the children’s father didn’t
pay child support for two years.
However,
although we
appeared to be destitute during those terrible years, our struggle to
survive had brought us together as a family. The children and I had
learned to trust and depend on each other. “One for all, and all for
one,” we used to say.
We found that,
over and over
again, things would work out. For example, when I went back to school
to get my degree, one of my fellow students happened to be a mechanic
who insisted on repairing my old vehicle—in the parking lot of Phoenix
College. I typed his papers in return.
It was as if the children and I were in
spiritual training.
My ex-husband
had done me a favor, because when he threw me out of his life, I landed
in God’s arms.
When our air
conditioning
broke, we had to sleep on lawn chairs on the patio around the pool. As
we fell asleep, the whole sky would be open above us. Sometimes we’d
see a plane or a satellite traveling among the stars. Other times,
there’d be heat lightning coloring the mountains that surrounded the
valley. It was heavenly to slumber with a breeze fanning our sleeping
bodies.
I’d come to
appreciate even
the smallest things—like being cool enough to sleep. The beauty and
tranquility of the night sky will remain forever deep in my bones. I
remember those nights under the stars, my children beside me, our dog
and cats nearby, as one of the happiest times in my life. There is a
remarkable peace to appreciating even the smallest things.
It was a time
when I was
closest to God, a time when it was easy to end each day with a prayer
of thanksgiving: thanks that we had shelter for one more night, thanks
that we had food for one more day, thanks that we had each other, and
thanks that God’s world resounded with beauty, drama, and peace—a peace
that passed understanding.
Therefore,
although it would
have seemed as if the millionaire was a gift from heaven for all the
years we had gone without even the necessities of life, the children
and I were not really as needy as we appeared to be. We had immense
faith that we could triumph over anything.
So I could not
say “yes,”
because I did not love the man, although I admired and respected him. I
did not want another marriage like the first. I wanted a soul
mate—a
twin soul.
With the wisdom
of
hindsight, I suppose the dream telling me the man I should marry came
because I had kept to my ideals and resisted being swayed by the
temptation of living well financially. I was holding out for love.
The entry in my
dream
journal was dated March 28, 1990. The first part of the dream was about
the actor “Godunov,” who played the husband destined to marry the
single mother in the movie Witness. In the dream, Godunov had this
“high up” house that he had designed, a black lab-type dog, and a
dark-haired male friend with a dark-haired wife. There was a satellite
that represented someone’s work.
In the next part
of the
dream, I saw a stage. In the spotlight center-stage, stood a tall,
husky man with reddish-blonde hair standing with his back to me. As if
on a turntable, he slowly rotated until he was facing me. I liked how
he looked. He smiled a soft smile at me.
When I awoke, I
assumed that
my dream was telling me I had made the right choice in not marrying the
millionaire. There was someone better out there for me, the proverbial
plenty of fish in the sea, represented by the man in the second part of
the dream.
I’d been keeping
a dream
journal for years and knew that dreams sometimes used words cleverly.
In this case, “Godunov” sounded like and probably meant “good enough.”
Therefore, my unconscious most likely was telling me that somewhere out
there was a man who might not be a millionaire but who was,
nonetheless, “good enough” for me.
It never occurred to me that the man in the
dream was a real person I was about to encounter.
You can imagine
my
astonishment when I walked down the cafeteria aisle next lunch hour,
tray in hand, and I saw a man standing with his back to me filling his
glass at the water fountain. I had been scanning the tables, looking
for the friends who usually ate lunch with me. Searching for a familiar
face, I was surprised to discover that this man at the water fountain
looked like someone I had met before. He was a big man with a broad
back and was wearing an orange-brown corduroy jacket which set off his
reddish-blonde hair. As I walked by, my eyes at the level of his elbow,
I glanced up at his face. It was the man in my dream! And I found him
wildly attractive!
My heart pounded
madly. I
almost dropped my tray. I wanted to shout, “What were you doing in my
dream last night?” But instead, I thought, “Hold onto your tray!” I was
afraid I might faint. It took all my concentration to act normal in
this cafeteria of hundreds of people.
I turned away,
not wanting
to stare. My breath came in short, quick bursts. I could feel my face
redden and little beads of perspiration appeared around my mouth.
I didn’t know what to do.
There are no
etiquette
manuals describing the proper behavior upon meeting the man of your
dreams. There are no talk shows bringing dreamer together with dreamee.
There are no articles in women’s magazines telling how various people
handled their first encounter with a man they’d just dreamt was their
future husband.
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